The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.

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Certain
people
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accept that the conventional ideas are a hindrance for
young
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the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation to live their lives while the elders in the society think that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should adhere to the old notions for the same course. In my opinion, I agree partially with the given statement.  
To begin
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with, we consider elders as the backbone of a society. The culture, tradition or
a
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apply

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root of a community depend on their
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advice

The word advices is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice

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and guidance. For
an
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apply

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instant, elders
always
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are always

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keen to guide
younger
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the younger

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generation  on how they should behave in a social get-
to-gether
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together

The word to gether seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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or how to socialize with others.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they play a vital role in depicting our cultural values and
behavioral
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behavioural

The spelling of behavioral is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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ways to their youngsters.   
On the contrary
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the thinking and living
pattern
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patterns

It seems that pattern may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
young
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the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation
are
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is

The verb are does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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much more different than others.
Moreover
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, they are dealing with
modernized
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the modernized

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21st century
that is
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interlinked by social media and
internet
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the internet

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. There is a contrast
in
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between

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the lifestyle of youth and the ideology of older
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Currently, it is important to prepare youngsters
to
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for

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the modern structure of living while keeping the aspect of culture in their mind. For
an
Correct article usage
apply

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instant, most elderly
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do not advise
to use
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using

To use doesn’t seem to work here.

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internet
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the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, because it is considered as
time wasting
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time-wasting

It appears that time wasting is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
Eventhough
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Even though

The word Eventhough is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, the youth has to have some knowledge about it, if they need to compete with the world. Adding to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,  It will be much harder to accept all the teachings of senior
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.   To conclude, I agree partially because I believe that it is necessary to get senior citizens’ opinion in some
phrases
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phases

The word phrases doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of life but not in every aspect.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
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