IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
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In the modern era, every person wants to fly abroad because there are a lot of facilities. It is considered that some individuals drive to the foreign communities for pleasure while other masses believe that
this
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 trip has a negative impact on the land travelled to. I large disagree with
this
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 statement and I will discuss my views in forthcoming paragraphs . To commence with ,there are numerous positive points of travelling foreign .
First
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 and foremost ,
people
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 can easily learn about other cultures and
traditions
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 , when they
travel
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then
Linking Words
 they can learn new
things
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 by visiting other nations . As well as , Nowadays many
people
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 prefer to
visit
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 other
countries
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 for their studies because Their education level is so high and every person wants to learn abroad study .
In addition
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 ,there are a lot of
jobs
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 opportunities in foreign
countries
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 , Masses
also
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visit
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 other
countries
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 for their
jobs
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 and
business
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 purposes
Furthermore
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, a
country
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 can get more
income
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 from
travel
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 because the public
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 more
money
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 for visiting tourist places .
Travel
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 is
also
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 the backbone of the nation's economy due to many reasons
such
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 as
plethora
Add an article
the plethora
a plethora
show examples
 of
jobs
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 generate through travelling of food making and tour guider. To commence with ,there are numerous positive points of travelling abroad
countries
Use synonyms
 .
First
Linking Words
 and foremost ,
people
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 can easily learn about other cultures and
traditions
Use synonyms
as
Add the preposition
toas
show examples
 when they
travel
Use synonyms
 to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they came to know about other cultures and they learn new
things
Use synonyms
 when they
visit
Use synonyms
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 . Nowadays many
people
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visit
Use synonyms
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
other
countries
Use synonyms
 for their studies because in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 education level is so high and every person can easily learn abroad study .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,there are a lot of
jobs
Use synonyms
 opportunities in other
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 can easily
visit
Use synonyms
 other
Use synonyms
countriescountry
Correct your spelling
countries country
 for their
jobs
Use synonyms
 and
business
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a
country
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 gets more
income
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 from
travel
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 because
people
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 pay more
money
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
 to other
Use synonyms
countriescountry
Correct your spelling
countries country
 .
Travel
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 is
also
Linking Words
 the backbone of the economy as a notion get more
income
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 from
travel
Use synonyms
 . There are a plethora of
jobs
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 in
travel
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 . So ,
travel
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 to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 has a positive effect on the
countries
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 because when
people
Use synonyms
visit
Use synonyms
 other
Use synonyms
countriescountry
Correct your spelling
countries country
then
Linking Words
 they come to know about new
things
Use synonyms
 . These days, many
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 to other
Use synonyms
countriescountry
Correct your spelling
countries country
 for their
business
Use synonyms
. Some individuals
visit
Use synonyms
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 with their families as tourism.
Thus
Linking Words
,
travel
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 to abroad
countries
Use synonyms
 has a positive impact on the
countries
Use synonyms
. To conclude , there are various merits of
travel
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 to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 came to know about the other culture and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
Travel
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a source of.
Income
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 because a
country
Use synonyms
 gets more
money
Use synonyms
 from air
travel
Use synonyms
.to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 has a positive effect on the
countries
Use synonyms
 because when
people
Use synonyms
visit
Use synonyms
 other
countries
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they come to know about new
things
Use synonyms
 . These days, many
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 to another
country
Use synonyms
 for their
business
Use synonyms
. Some individuals
visit
Use synonyms
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 with their families as tourism.
Thus
Linking Words
,
travel
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad has a positive impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To conclude , there are various merits of
travel
Use synonyms
 to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 came to know about the other culture and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
Travel
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a source of.
Income
Use synonyms
 because a
country
Use synonyms
 gets more
money
Use synonyms
 from air
travel
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gurpreetmalhi4884 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
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