many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people

Many manufacturers of

food

and drink commodities embrace the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

sugar

ingredients. The result to

people

in the health issues that happened a lot. Some

people

think for motivate individuals to eat less

sugar

, sugary products and

food

company should be made more high-priced. In my option, I don’t agree that

this

high

price

strategy

could be a good way for

people

eat

Fix the infinitive

to eat

show examples

much less

sugar

and have

Add an article

a meal

show examples

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

more healthful nowadays,

Instead

, there should have some healthy

food

advertising and publicity that focus on a healthy lifestyle.

Firstly

, some

people

think if manufacturers

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

and drink corporate rising the

price

sugar

ingredient

food

, the demographic would purchase much less sugary products as little as they can. There are some

people

who believe

price

strategy

could make

people

who are addicted to

sugar

can control themselves to have a healthy

life

However

, in my opinion, human has a desire that they love the sweet taste because it could make dopamine.

Hence

, at the initial stage, maybe

this

high

price

strategy

could have an extremely good effect,

nonetheless

people

would like to pay for the sweet taste to

earning

Wrong verb form

earn

show examples

more money or find some illegal way for cheaper trade for

sugar

ingredients eventually.

Secondly

, I think even

people

’s nature make an issue that there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some difficulties for control the

sugar

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

, yet, product advertising should advocate a healthy lifestyle that makes

people

interested in different

food

habit.

For example

, in Japan, there are amount of diet and

food

recipe books to

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

people

to how to have a fancy, tasty and healthy meal. Many

people

that appeal to these beautiful

food

books attempt to make a meal by themself.

Therefore

, many

people

can keep a fit body

also

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good healthy

life

habits

Correct the article-noun agreement

habit

show examples

. To sum up, I think good

food

advertising and publicity could make

people

recognize that they have too much

sugar

in daily

life

than the high-

price

strategy

. By cooking with themselves, they could have a more healthy

life

further

Submitted by littlekongmy on Tue Jan 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It cannot be denied that growth in areas like medicine, education, and trade is crucial for the upliftment of economically backward societies. Some believe that this assistance must be provided by the affluent nations on a larger scale. I strongly agree with this notion because it will help the poorer countries to come out of the poverty trap and in turn reward the developed countries with added revenue as well as cheap labor.
5.5
band
Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?
there are numerous gauges to the country's overall wealth. Some might argue that the citizen's health should be the primary indicator of a country's well-being, while others believe that education is a better measure. Personally, I believe that education is the rightful measure to assess the country's financial state, however, other factors like infrastructure should not be overlooked.
7.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major news item in your country. Write a letter to your Facebook friend. In your letter describe a news story in your country explain why people are interested in it say how the story personally relates to you You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..., You should write at least 150 words.
I hope you are doing great. It's been a long time since I haven't written you. How's everything going?
6
band
It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?
Nowadays there is more choice for the consumer than ever before. Large supermarket chains sell products from around the world at rock bottom prices. We are also able to buy anything we desire from the internet and, often, have it delivered the next day. However, this comes at the detriment of small local shops, and our local communities. I would suggest that we need to take measures to address this problem.
7.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There have been competing views on whether skilled workers should work in the country that trained them. In my opinion, they should be granted freedom of movement in order to achieve their career fulfilment.

many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.