many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people

Many manufacturers of

food

and drink commodities embrace the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

sugar

ingredients. The result to

people

in the health issues that happened a lot. Some

people

think for motivate individuals to eat less

sugar

, sugary products and

food

company should be made more high-priced. In my option, I don’t agree that

this

high

price

strategy

could be a good way for

people

eat

Fix the infinitive

to eat

show examples

much less

sugar

and have

Add an article

a meal

show examples

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

more healthful nowadays,

Instead

, there should have some healthy

food

advertising and publicity that focus on a healthy lifestyle.

Firstly

, some

people

think if manufacturers

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

and drink corporate rising the

price

sugar

ingredient

food

, the demographic would purchase much less sugary products as little as they can. There are some

people

who believe

price

strategy

could make

people

who are addicted to

sugar

can control themselves to have a healthy

life

However

, in my opinion, human has a desire that they love the sweet taste because it could make dopamine.

Hence

, at the initial stage, maybe

this

high

price

strategy

could have an extremely good effect,

nonetheless

people

would like to pay for the sweet taste to

earning

Wrong verb form

earn

show examples

more money or find some illegal way for cheaper trade for

sugar

ingredients eventually.

Secondly

, I think even

people

’s nature make an issue that there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some difficulties for control the

sugar

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

, yet, product advertising should advocate a healthy lifestyle that makes

people

interested in different

food

habit.

For example

, in Japan, there are amount of diet and

food

recipe books to

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

people

to how to have a fancy, tasty and healthy meal. Many

people

that appeal to these beautiful

food

books attempt to make a meal by themself.

Therefore

, many

people

can keep a fit body

also

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good healthy

life

habits

Correct the article-noun agreement

habit

show examples

. To sum up, I think good

food

advertising and publicity could make

people

recognize that they have too much

sugar

in daily

life

than the high-

price

strategy

. By cooking with themselves, they could have a more healthy

life

further

Submitted by littlekongmy on Tue Jan 25 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

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many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used to make money from tourists. Others believe that this is the only way for some places to survive in today's world. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Some people think it is good for a country's culture to show imported foreign films and TV programs. Other people think that it is better for countries to make their own films and TV programs instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?