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Band 4

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #country’s #economy #money
In
this
 day and age, youngsters are likely to hold elders in less
respect
 as opposed to the past. There are a plethora of factors behind
this
 tendency alongside serious problems, which will be discussed below. To begin with,
this
 negative development boils down to one main reason -
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
 gap and the deficit of
time
 for each other.
Firstly
, the huge disparity in thoughts, attitudes towards numerous issues in life between the young and the senior citizens could lead to conflicts and disruptions. A shining example of
this
 trend may be the difference in opinions on technology, namely mobile . While adolescents maintain that mobile phones are an evitable part of our life, their
grandparents
 strongly convict that mobile phones are mostly pointless and harmful to our health,
subsequently
Add a comma
,subsequently
show examples
 they fiercely oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
phone-using.
Grandparent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
Grandparents’
show examples
 complaints and severe objections whenever seeing their kids using the phone, may annoy and
irratate
Correct your spelling
irritate
 these youngsters. It is at
this
 point that the age gap between these 2
generations
 may have widened,
thus
enable
Wrong verb form
enabling
show examples
 disrespect to occur.
Moreover
, it is an era when young adults are totally slammed with work and their own
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 that they barely spare
time
 for families, which can be clearly seen in the decline of family
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 these days when
grandparents
 and grandchildren rarely eat together at the dinner table. Given the potentially disrespectful attitude mentioned above, what is needed is the
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
 bonding
time
, the
time
 to talk, to empathize and sympathize, to understand each other, to
brigde
Correct your spelling
bridge
 the emotional distance;
however
, it is
such
 a challenge for
millenials
Change the capitalization
Millenials
show examples
 to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
 so-called family bonding
time
 in recent years,
all owing
Correct your spelling
allowing
show examples
 to
hectic
Add an article
the hectic
show examples
 pace of their life. For
this
 reason, seniors may get distinct feelings of less
respect
, less gratitude shown for them. Along with these aforementioned reasons come dire consequences, as on
familial
Add an article
a familial
show examples
 and societal
scale
Fix the agreement mistake
scales
show examples
. These young
generations
, who are not able to exhibit
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
respect
 for their
grandparents
,
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 highly likely to fail to teach their descendants about family values.
Therefore
, the vicious circle of disrespect may continue unabated, from
generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
 to
generations
Fix the agreement mistake
generation
show examples
. Not only will
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 be negatively affected but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society will
also
 suffer from the consequence of disrespect in families. To clarify,
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 who do not treat their
grandparents
 with proper
respect
 may
also
 display the same behaviours with seniors in the public.
Therefore
, moral degradation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
 as a whole is bound to happen. Overall, mainly because of
generational
Correct article usage
the generational
show examples
 gap and
time
 deficiency
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
more and more disrespectful
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 are shown to the veterans,
consequently
 leading to moral degradation in the society.
Submitted by fallenleaves2007 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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