IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the past when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
Just like how oxygen is important for our lives,
education
 is
also
 important as well. In the past years, our parents or grandparents tended to
study
 in their own
country
,
however
, it is not the same with today’s generation. Continuing our journey of
education
 in another
country
 has its own downside but I believe
it’s
 the best decision for students. In the 20th century, many people didn’t have the opportunity to
study
 abroad as we do. So, they had to continue their
education
 in their own hometown or city of their own
country
. But now we have all the possibilities to
study
 wherever we want.
However
, it costs a lot of money and I don’t think
it’s
 easy to adapt new environment. Every year, many students couldn’t go to better universities because of financial problems and end up educating in local places. But in recent years, governments trying their best to apply as many good students as possible to the scholarships.
Moreover
, some of them come back to their
country
 because of a cultural shock. As I said, adapting to a new place with new people is
one
 of the difficulties that we have to face in order to
study
 abroad. Yet if they can overcome these obstacles, it can change their whole future. By studying in better universities or colleges, we can experience brand new
education
 and skills.
It’s
 better to learn about new cultures and people than stuck in
one
 place.
For example
, Mongolia’s universities are not even top-500 in the world. So
it’s
 best for us to
study
 in better places like the UK, Australia, the US et cetera. By continuing our
education
 there, we can learn so many things that could be useful in the future.
In addition
, today’s companies always try to hire graduates from better schools.
For instance
, if a company receives two resumes,
one
 from a guy from a regular university and
one
 from a guy who graduated from Harvard, they’ll choose the latter option for sure. To sum up,
education
 is the key to our success,
hence
 we must try our best to
study
 abroad and improve our knowledge as much as possible.
This
 will lead us to a better life in the future.
Submitted by aminoqr12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: