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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Caring for children is an important thing of the society it is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take child care training courses to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mothers #fathers #child #care #courses
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A
Correct article usage
Child
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child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 training is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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an important activity for a parent to develop their skill in giving the best treatment for their
children
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. I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because human's
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
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, mental and physical
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 is formed since they were in childhood. It is very important to create a human with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good character and healthy. In fact, childhood is the best phase to
mold
Change the spelling
mould
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 all of those
criterias
Correct your spelling
criteria
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a proper method to take
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 determined the success of the
child
Use synonyms
's future.
Parents
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 are the closest person to a
child
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 that
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 an important role in
molding
Change the spelling
moulding
show examples
 their
child
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's future.
Children
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 very tricky, many adults even
does
Change the verb form
do
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 not know the reason
of
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for
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kid's
Correct article usage
a kid's
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 reaction. A wrong
respon
Correct your spelling
response
of
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to
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children
Use synonyms
's brutalism may lead to a snowballed problem.
In
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At
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 the same time, a new
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 often time do not know the right ways to treat their
children
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.
Thus
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,
a training courses
Correct the article-noun agreement
training courses
a training course
show examples
 may become an answer to
this
Linking Words
 issue. The courses
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
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 created by the expert
of
Change preposition
on
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children
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's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 may help
parents
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 to understand more about their
children
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 and inform
parents
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the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 best way to deal with their
children
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, the conflict between
parents
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 and their
children
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 will be minimized, while the bonding will be strengthened
instead
Linking Words
. In conclusion, a training course on
child
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 is very important for
parents
Use synonyms
 to take. Especially to those who have no experience in parenting at all. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the information and the method taught will help
mother
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mothers
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 and
father
Fix the agreement mistake
fathers
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 deal with their kids in a proper manner.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the good character, healthiness both in mental and physic of their
children
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 may come
as a result
Linking Words
 of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper
care
Use synonyms
 of the
children
Use synonyms
 in the future.
Submitted by Kusuman.retno on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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