Write a formal letter to your school director in which you suggest starting an Ancient Civilisations Club

I have been a student of your school for the past seven years and I am writing

this

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letter to suggest some changes to your activity clubs. I understand that in your school there are only cycling and dancing clubs and nothing for the students who want to study more. My suggestion is to have an Ancient Civilizations Club for the children who love history.

Firstly

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, extra-curricular activities would be extremely beneficial for the students.

For

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example

Add a comma

,example

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it is better for them to study something new

Remove the comma

apply

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than to stay outside or play computer games. Another benefit is the importance of understanding ancient civilizations. I hold a certificate in history and I really think

that is

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immensely important to know about how ancient people lived.

Also

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, participants of the club will not be so shy when they are accustomed to

talk

Change the verb form

talking

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with others. One year ago I was employed as an instructor in

this

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club and I believe it will matter. I hope that I have been of some assistance to you. Please inform me if you make a decision

Change preposition

show examples

this

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question. Elena Borisova

taniadim74

Jan 26, 2022

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

184 words

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Write a formal letter to your school director in which you suggest starting an Ancient Civilisations Club

Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting thier usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

Crime rates wil fall as advances in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe that it is more important to have a permanent job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to get up early in the morning and start the day’s work. Others prefer to get up later in the day and work until late at night. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice