with the pressure on today's young people to succeed academiclly,some people believe that non-academic subjects at school(eg:physical education and cookery )should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on acedemic subject.To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

#pressure #people #subjects #school #eg #education #cookery #syllabus #children #acedemic

The way in which how people consider their education in contemporary society has become a topic of discussion among researchers.It is true that with the advancement of state of art technology,education plays an integral role in human evolution.

However

, a significant proportion of people are view that non-academic

subjects

should be removed from the syllabus.In my point of view,each person carries a hidden potential

that is

unique to him or her.the

school

providing an opportunity for them to learn their own capacity and uniqueness .I am inclined to believe that students should get involved not only in academic

subjects

but

also

in non-academic

subjects

might help them to expand the horizon of success

To begin

with,it is critical to realize the fact that allocating equal times for non-academic

subjects

at the

school

play a vital role in finding their innate ability.a younger age acts as the fountainhead in opening the doors of creativity, innovation and rational thinking .

for instance

,a considerable number of persons whose names are carved in the history are dropouts of the

school

In addition

,according to recent studies on psychology,children learn through experiences and the more they get exposed to diverse events,the more they would learn about life.

Therefore

,engaging in non-academic activities carries a significant value in climbing up their career ladder,in the conventional education system

in particular

. In conclusion,It is proven to be in the view that

school

time of a child should be utilized in a productive way through which they can gain knowledge as well as life skills that may assist them in making a giant stride forward in their journey in search of green pastures prosperity

Submitted by krishanthennakoon567 on Thu Jan 27 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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with the pressure on today's young people to succeed academiclly,some people believe that non-academic subjects at school(eg:physical education and cookery )should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on acedemic subject.To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the teenager’s years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.