IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #members
Some cultures have a belief that younger family
members
 should be responsible for elders in the family by law once they no longer have enough strength to look after themselves in both physically and mentally ways.
This
 has become a controversial issue. From my point of view, I am disagreed with
this
 idea and reckon it should not be made legal. The reasons for my argument will be explained
further
 in the following paragraphs before the conclusion is reached. At present, there are some segments of society who think that it is a necessary job for descendants to take care of the elderly when they become physically and mentally weak.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
, not with the fact that pupils take care of elders but with the belief that it should be made legal. I always think that it is a good deed for youth to look after their family
members
, but
this
 should be an optional choice. Everyone has their own right to choose whether they want or do not want to do something.
Furthermore
, it is found by one of the surveys that some people, including young ages, are not ready to hold others' lives in their hands because they are still struggling with their own lives.
For instance
, think about a person who works all day and night but is still surrounded by problems
such
 as financial, working, and educational issues.
Therefore
, it would be best for these people to look after their family
members
 when they are ready or it would give them more burden. In conclusion, even though some populations believe that the younger
members
 of the family should be legally responsible for the elderly, I disagree with
this
 and think that everyone must have the right to choose.
Hence
, it should not be made as a legal law but should be an optional choice. The offspring must look after others when they think they are ready and do not have any other burden.
Submitted by creammicom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • filial piety
  • elder care
  • aging population
  • public resources
  • state welfare
  • financial burden
  • legal mandate
  • family dynamics
  • moral responsibility
  • residency
  • integrity
  • dependency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: