some people sat that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

According to some
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
music
is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
way to get
people
together from different ages and cultures and provide them to socialize and meet each other. I totally agree with it because
music
is embracive and universal.
Since
Change preposition
For
show examples
many years from
now
Add a comma
,now
show examples
music
has always been
Correct article usage
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
two different
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
.
Music
concerts can gather two
people
that normally impossible to have fun and sing a
song
together.
Music
do
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does
show examples
not filter
people
due to their age,
poltical
Correct your spelling
political
tgoughts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
thought
or physical
appearence
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appearance
.
For
example
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,example
show examples
a singer produces a
song
in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
and some
people
in Turkey and Africa find it nice eventually these two
people
have in common and have fun with the same exact
song
. At the concerts thousands of
people
merge in the same area and forget all their differences, they become one and feel the same thing at the same time.
This
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These
show examples
events provide
people
to make new friends and break down their lonelinesses.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
music
has no age restriction, anyone from 7 to 70 years old can enjoy the same
song
. When you go to the Tomorrowland
music
festival you would dance with others
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
different ages because these peaceful events
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
no rules and no one criticise you because of your age. Suddenly you and the person
next
to you can start a chat and you may become friends at the end of the concert. İn conclusion,
music
has
powerful
Add an article
a powerful
show examples
impact on bringing all kinds of
people
together and creating an atmosphere everyone can be happy inside.
Submitted by ihsancal38 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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