The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system, in an effort to deal with the health issues involved some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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A certain group of

people

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believe that more intense physical education in

school

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is the most effective way to reduce the increasing amount of overweight

people

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which is

such

Linking Words

a massive problem in society.

This

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essay strongly disagrees with the statement because it is not the exact point of

this

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problem, there is another way to solve

this

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issue more capable.

Firstly

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, you are what you eat, the famous line from a biology book.

This

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is a fact that will never be changed. Most of the problems of overweight

people

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are uncontrolling of their eating behaviour. Working out might help burn calories but not sugar. Research shows that

people

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who obtain sugar more than 500 grams per day have high percentages to become obese even they work out quite often.

Therefore

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instead

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of adding intense lessons in physical education, schools should focus on students' lunches. The cafeteria should provide healthy food and avoid snacks with a high amount of sugar. It would help not only those who have a tendency to become obese but

also

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all the kids in

school

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Secondly

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, putting more intense content in physical education classes is a nightmare to some

people

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. Not everyone is into the sport. There are a lot of individuals who do not like exercise at

school

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for many reasons. Some students do not prefer to be in sweat all day after playing sport while some just do not have a sport in favour at all.

Therefore

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, the

school

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should keep the standard of class as normal for benefit of everyone. In conclusion, in order to mitigate the number of overweight

people

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, society should promote a healthy diet

instead

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of changing the

school

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curriculum. Prioritizing diet behaviour would affect overweight

people

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effectively and positively rather than forcing them to work out.

Submitted by pchetchotsak on Thu Jan 27 2022

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Your opinion

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various company. To what extent do you think consumers are infuenced by advertising?What measures should be taken to prevent them?