IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

: Should the government fund education and the healthcare system? What is your own opinion?

#government #fund #education #healthcare #system
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate whether medical care, as well as schooling, should be invested in by authorities. While each has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal for the government to spend its national budget on both of those mentioned aspects. Without a shadow of a doubt, spending the authorities’ coffer on education is of imperativeness because it brings a tremendous impact on a country. In
this
 day and age, education sets up a firm foundation in a country because it provides citizens with a wide range of knowledge and a set of skills to enhance the quality of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 workforces.
For example
, the government in Germany applies a free-of-charge tuition policy on a mass scale to encourage people to get access to tertiary education, which leads to a prosperous and flourishing nation.
Hence
, schooling should be spared by government funding. While the redeeming features of the educational
system
 are widely acknowledged, the medical
system
also
 plays a paramount significant role. Nowadays, there are a lot of pandemics, which are unprecedented, appear at an alarming rate, and have a heavy impact on resident life. Especially, people who can’t pay for the specific remedies maybe can lead to the citizens’ health, become the burden of the society, even their lives run a high risk of being cut short.
For example
, before the Covid-19, Vietnam is spared money on free vac-xin for all the citizens to fight against the virus, including poor and homeless people. To reduce the number of deaths, the governors should be spared from the medical care
system
. In my opinion, both aspects namely schooling and the medical
system
 are good for society, so the state should spend money on both features.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: