You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: •say how you feel about his/her performance •give details of your music-related activities •explain how you would like him/her to help you with your music-related activities

#concert #singers #singer #•say #performance #•give #activities #•explain

Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing

this

letter in regard to

invite

Wrong verb form

inviting

show examples

you to my workplace to arrange a live musical concert and I

also

want to show my gratitude towards your singing on your

last

day of the concert in Toronto. If I talk about my feelings about your songs, I was delighted after your performance and it left a positive impression on me. I have been sick for the

last

few weeks;

however

, your performance gave me enough energy to recover from my weakness. I have been thinking of organizing a musical event at

retirement

Correct article usage

a retirement

show examples

home residency, where residents would love to listen to live music. After attending your concert, I was thinking of inviting you to perform at my

job place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

. To help me with

this

event, could you please come to my employer and sing a song for my lovely residence? I would really appreciate your efforts and consideration to contribute to my activity. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Heena Parmar

Submitted by parmarheena277254 on Tue Sep 03 2024

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logical structure

Improve the logical structure by organizing the letter more clearly. For example, separate the invitation to perform from the personal feelings about the concert.

single idea per paragraph

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For instance, when discussing how you felt about the concert, avoid mixing it with the invitation details.

suitable writing tone

The letter has a polite and respectful tone which is very suitable for the purpose.

greeting and closing

Clear closing and greeting, providing a positive and professional impression.

complete response

The letter effectively communicates your feelings about the performance and your invitation, covering all required points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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