You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: •say how you feel about his/her performance •give details of your music-related activities •explain how you would like him/her to help you with your music-related activities

Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
letter in regard to
invite
Wrong verb form
inviting
show examples
you to my workplace to arrange a live musical concert and I
also
want to show my gratitude towards your singing on your
last
day of the concert in Toronto. If I talk about my feelings about your songs, I was delighted after your performance and it left a positive impression on me. I have been sick for the
last
few weeks;
however
, your performance gave me enough energy to recover from my weakness. I have been thinking of organizing a musical event at
retirement
Correct article usage
a retirement
show examples
home residency, where residents would love to listen to live music. After attending your concert, I was thinking of inviting you to perform at my
job place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. To help me with
this
event, could you please come to my employer and sing a song for my lovely residence? I would really appreciate your efforts and consideration to contribute to my activity. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Heena Parmar
Submitted by parmarheena277254 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Improve the logical structure by organizing the letter more clearly. For example, separate the invitation to perform from the personal feelings about the concert.
single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For instance, when discussing how you felt about the concert, avoid mixing it with the invitation details.
suitable writing tone
The letter has a polite and respectful tone which is very suitable for the purpose.
greeting and closing
Clear closing and greeting, providing a positive and professional impression.
complete response
The letter effectively communicates your feelings about the performance and your invitation, covering all required points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: