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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own option.

It is believed by some that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of specific plants and animal
species
Use synonyms
 is a major problem of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 today. Others,
however
Linking Words
, argue that other environmental issues are more significant. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 preservation of living
species
Use synonyms
 is crucial as
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of one
species
Use synonyms
 can alter the balance of the whole
ecosystem
Use synonyms
, global warming and
pollution
Use synonyms
 are equally worthy to consider.
Therefore
Linking Words
, all environmental problems are vital; so, they should be dealt with to make sure
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 longer survival of all living things on the Earth. The loss of a
particular
Change the adjective
particularly
show examples
 endangered
species
Use synonyms
 is important because every
species
Use synonyms
 has its significance in the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
. If one
Use synonyms
species
Add a verb
arespecies
werespecies
show examples
 extinct, it would disturb the whole food chain.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there could be serious disruptions in the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
 as
species
Use synonyms
 are dependent on each other.
This
Linking Words
 will eventually
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 dangerous ramifications on humanity because human beings take their nutrition from animals and plants. Depletion of food resources could cause starvation and malnutrition which may lead to
annihilation
Correct article usage
the annihilation
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 mankind.
Hence
Linking Words
,
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
show examples
 of all
species
Use synonyms
 is necessary. There are many other environmental problems
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
, all of them are important,
for example
Linking Words
, global warming and
pollution
Use synonyms
. Increasing global temperatures
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 leads to climate changes which
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in melting glaciers, heat waves in winters and cold spells in summers.
Pollution
Use synonyms
 of all types, whether it is air, water or land, is a concerning issue of
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 era. Carbon emissions from automobiles and power plants by the combustion of fossil fuel have adverse effects on the lives of all living beings. It results in depletion of
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
 layer which is a protective layer that shields the Earth from the harmful
radiations
Fix the agreement mistake
radiation
show examples
 of
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
pollution
Use synonyms
 is adversely affecting
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of all living
species
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, global warming and
pollution
Use synonyms
 should be dealt
for
Change preposition
with for
show examples
 the survival of all living things. In conclusion, conservation of flora and fauna
species
Use synonyms
 is necessary to ensure a balance in
Use synonyms
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem
show examples
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, other environmental problems
such
Linking Words
 as global warming and
pollution
Use synonyms
 are equally imperative. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that it is indispensable to deal with all environmental issues simultaneously to improve
lifespan
Add an article
the lifespan
show examples
 of all the
species
Use synonyms
 on our planet.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • deforestation
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • overpopulation
  • overconsumption
  • economic development
  • environmental conservation
  • education
  • awareness
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