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Band 5

Some people think that parents should give their children complete freedom. Others feel that parents should limit their children’s freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #freedom #limit #children’s
Some people believe that the
parents
 need to give a right of freedom
for
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to
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younger
Add an article
the younger
a younger
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 generation,I agree.
However
,others opine that
a
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apply
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parents
 need to limit their time. In the essay,I will outline both sides and give
necessary
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the necessary
show examples
 opinion.
One
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On
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 the one hand,caregivers need to give a
choices
Correct the article-noun agreement
choice
show examples
 of choosing right alternative because
this
 can enhance a child to build
a
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apply
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confidence in whatever job they are doing.
For instance
,
toddler
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a toddler
the toddler
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 needs
a
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apply
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child initiated
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child-initiated
show examples
 learning in building blocks, with
a
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the
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 teachers attention in the classroom.
This
 develops
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 attitude in completing the given task.
Secondly
,caregivers need to give their folks freedom of speech. To illustrate
this
, speaking up for themselves develops
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 of the child.
Moreover
,elders need to trust their young ones because it can result
to
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in
show examples
the
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a
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 good bonding between the
parents
 and
children
.
Lastly
,some
parents
 use abusive language towards their
children
.
This
 will impact
on
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apply
show examples
their
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the
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 behaviour of younger ones because they can easily grasp and utter words or sentences from their elders.
Furthermore
,
children
 role model from their
parents
 and use inappropriate language with others.
On the other hand
,others say that they need to limit the
teenagers
Change to a genitive case
teenager's
teenagers'
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 liberty,
otherwise
children
are tend
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tend
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 to
depressed
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depress
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 and are having some behavioural issues.
This
 will impact
on
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apply
show examples
children
 brain development because of
the
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its
show examples
 sensitive nature.
Moreover
,when caregivers are punishing or giving time-outs for their
children
.
This
 can tend to
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 aggressive nature,
Such
 as traumas,sleep disorders or sometimes complaints of missing a person. In conclusion,
although
 freedom is right for the younger generation. I believe that the
parents
 need to understand and take care of their little
children
 and respect their decision making.
Submitted by ar050682 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom
  • independence
  • creativity
  • adulthood
  • risks
  • guidance
  • self-discipline
  • responsibility
  • restriction
  • development
  • decision-making
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