IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#persons #countries
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Environmental destruction has become one of the most pressing/ urgent/ alarming problems facing/ plaguing individuals and
countries
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.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it cannot be solved by any country alone and requires// calls for global cooperation/ collaboration due to the scale of the environmental impacts and the limited capacities of an individual country/ government. Environmental preservation demands concerted/ collaborative
efforts
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/ actions of all
countries
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 → concerted
efforts
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/ actions on
global
Correct article usage
a global
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 level// concerted global
efforts
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/ actions because the consequences of environmental damage affect the entire
world
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.
Natural
Add an article
The natural
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 environment is an interconnected system where each component/ element, ranging from air and soil to micro-organisms and human beings,
link
Change the form of the verb
linked
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 closely to each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when one element is severely damaged, the global environment will deteriorate, resulting in/ causing/ inflicting worldwide pollution,
biodiversity → ecosystem
Add a hyphen
biodiversity-ecosystem
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 degradation and climate change.
For example
Linking Words
, tropical deforestation contributes to
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
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 in global temperature and change in
world
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 precipitation patterns, which have led to/ inflicted floods, tornados and droughts affecting many parts of the
world
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, without international coordination → cooperation/ collaboration,
efforts
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/ endeavors/ attempts to protect/ preserve the global environment cannot come to fruition/ be effective. Developing
countries
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 are culpable/ responsible for a significant proportion of
world
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 greenhouse gases emissions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they still heavily rely on fossil fuels as a main source of energy to develop the economy. If there is no international consensus on curbing global warming, the authorities of these
countries
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 will neither be under pressure to wean their
countries
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 off coal, oil and natural gas and switch to clean renewable energy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 nor will they gain technological, financial and other support from developing
countries
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 to do so.
Consequently
Linking Words
, no matter how much
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efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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/
endeavors
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endeavor
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/
attempts
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attempt
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 other parts of the
worlds
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world
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 make to tackle climate change, their
efforts
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/ attempts will be futile//
there
Replace the word
their
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efforts
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 will be nullified/ negated/ countervailed/ neutralized. In conclusion,
countries
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 need to cooperate in order to tackle major environmental issues effectively because these issues inflict damage on the entire
world
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 and are beyond the capabilities of any individual government.
Submitted by sunny.lovessunnyday on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective action
  • climate change
  • rising sea levels
  • extreme weather events
  • biodiversity loss
  • ecosystems
  • Convention on Biological Diversity
  • significant improvements
  • sovereignty
  • environmental policies
  • international collaboration
  • environmental degradation
  • shared responsibility
  • technological advances
  • innovative solutions
  • international cooperation
What to do next:
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