Some people think that sports play an important role in society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sports #role #society #leisure #activity

Sport

has been

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

within societies for millennia. While some believe that the role which

sport

plays is of great importance, others feel that its only function is leisure. I tend to agree with the former view. (

This

is not an appropriate specific statement for

this

style of essay – see feedback for

further

details) On the one hand, those who argue that

sports

have no more significant purpose than a recreational activity might point to its essentially trivial nature. They may suggest that because all

sports

are games, at root, involving physicality, their role in

society

is not of any substance.

For example

, most people enjoy watching or participating in football as a way to only pass the time. If all

sports

vanished tomorrow, the only consequence would be that people would need to find another activity to fill the time. (Only one idea here)

However

, I agree with those (your opinion should not be here – please see feedback for

further

detail) who consider that

sports

provide crucial physical and psychological benefits for

society

. Regarding the former, the evidence for

sports

’ impact on a person’s physical well-being is vast and undeniable.

For example

(repetitive use of

this

phrase), doing

sports

on a regular basis helps to control blood pressure, lowers the risk of cancer and improves heart function. As for the latter,

sports

have

also

been shown to reduce stress, boost confidence and enhance resilience. As

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apply

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society

is only as healthy as its members, it must be concluded that

sport

serves a greater purpose other than recreation considering its personal impact on health. In conclusion, because of the sizeable influence that

sport

can have on public health, I would argue that its role in

society

is much more substantial than

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apply

show examples

simple entertainment. (Not enough detail for your opinion here - plus you have not signalled that you have considered both sides)

Submitted by abdullayev2000ulugbek on Fri Jan 28 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports play an important role in society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.