Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Generally speaking, nowadays many
species
are endangered and human beings need to do something to avoid
this
.
This
essay will discuss,
animals
that are disappearing, the reason to avoid animal extinction and the effects of animal testing. I will argue in favour that wildlife must be protected.
Firstly
, most of the
species
that are in danger are wild
animals
.
For example
, the top of the list of fauna endangered in 2022
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
polar bears and panda bears.
Additionally
, The hunting of elephants for their tusks has increased the number of
animals
disappearing.
Nevertheless
, there are people who believe preserving fauna is less important than world poverty.
Secondly
, the well-being of the planet is the reason that kingdom Animalia must be protected Because biodiversity depends on
this
.
For instance
, the loss of
species
can disrupt the balance of the ecosystem.
Moreover
, if an animal becomes extinct the invasive
species
will increase the loss of biodiversity in a place.
However
, some people think that it is better to invest money in industries that destroy the environment than to conserve fauna.
Lastly
, animal testing directly affects wild
animals
. To give one example, chimpanzees are endangered and they are used to research new medicines and treatments.
Furthermore
, some of these
species
are often killed during testing.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are some
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
it is better to test drugs on
animals
for side effects and safety reasons for human beings than preserve them. In conclusion, many wild
animals
are endangered and they need to be protected since the world is losing its biodiversity Which could be a danger for us.
Thus
, I agree that human beings need to do something to protect
animals
.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need improvement to better frame the essay. The essay lacks a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. There is a need for better organization of the ideas and information.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address all parts of the prompt. The introduction and conclusion should be more developed to provide a complete response. Although it discusses various points related to wildlife conservation, the connection between the points and their relevance to the topic needs to be clearer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • conservation status
  • ecological significance
  • holistic approach
  • endangered species
  • natural heritage
  • unforeseen negative impacts
  • economically non-viable
  • prioritization
  • ecosystem balance
  • conservation efforts
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