IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.

#countries #laws #tobacco #buildings #offices #restaurants #intention #arguments #debate #conclusion #side #favour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, the harmful effects of smoking on direct smokers and passive ones who breathe cigarette smoke are well-discussed. Many
countries
Use synonyms
 have enacted
laws
Use synonyms
 to forbid smoking in public places while others do not tend to follow. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, both sides of the discussion will be debated and reach a conclusion. On the one hand,
countries
Use synonyms
 that oppose enacting
laws
Use synonyms
 against smoking have got a dependent economy on importing or exporting
tobacco
Use synonyms
-based
products
Use synonyms
 and cite that
such
Linking Words
products
Use synonyms
 could greatly influence their economic conditions. Critics of passing
laws
Use synonyms
 against smoking point to evidence from
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Afghanistan in which the economy is massively supported by exporting opium annually. They claim that if the state warned people about the harmful effects of smoking on the health system and incremented the taxation of
tobacco
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 would be sufficient prohibitive to their consumption and address the need to restrict smoking rules.
However
Linking Words
, those who support enacting
laws
Use synonyms
 on smoking
tobacco
Use synonyms
 promote the idea that smoking would have harmful impacts on the health system. So far, many papers have been published in high-impact journals highlighting how smoking would impose irrecoverable damage to infants, pregnant women, and children leading to the development of cancers, neurodegenerative disorders, and autoimmune diseases.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, proponents of limiting rules for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking claim that employees who are addicted to
tobacco
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 should meet their needs every hour,
thus
Linking Words
 inevitably leaving their workplace or could not efficiently concentrate on completing their duty. They are able to cite evidence from
countries
Use synonyms
 like China, where the government has set a penalty for smoking in industrial places and would sentence them if the offenders repeated. Overall, I would tend to side with the supportive
countries
Use synonyms
 of passing
laws
Use synonyms
 against smoking
tobacco
Use synonyms
 in public places like restaurants and administrative centres. It would be a determining decision that directly influences people’s health and,
consequently
Linking Words
, the economy.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: