Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #electronics #entertainment #time #sports #games

As we are living in the twenty-

first

century we are being more attracted to electronics items. In today's generation,

children

are too dependent on computers and electronic

games

. On the other ,hand people argue, that we should encourage

children

to spend more time playing outdoor

games

, which I completely agree with.

This

essay will explain why playing outside is more vital than relying on computer

games

. Nowadays, we have observed that kids are spending most of their time playing video

games

sitting in one place.

This

is spoiling their lifestyle as they are not aware of how the outside world is performing. For an instance, it has been observed by the Indian government that 85% of

children

are not participating in any sports and are taking a keen interest in online

games

Furthermore

, they have found that there are many suicide cases taking place because one is not being the best of others.

On the other hand

, if teenagers are playing outdoor

games

like cricket, football, tennis and numerous other

games

This

will make their body physically fit and mental health strong.

Children

will learn new skills, make new friends and participate in various tournaments which will create competition in them. For an instance, it has been observed that people who are getting a chance to play for the Indian cricket team or any other sports for their nation has turned their life incredibly lucky. Sports will give them a chance to play for their country and there will be many eyes watching at the same time. In conclusion, I would suggest that playing outdoor

games

has various advantages not only playing for the native country but being healthy and fit.

Submitted by vishak2511 on Mon Jan 31 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment it would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?