Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many opine that spending time extending a successful career is one of the most significant things.
However
,some people claim that expending
time with friends and families is more indispensable. From my point of view ,I believe we are living Verb problem
spending
for developing
our occupations and Change preposition
to develop
this
is more crucial than spending hours with others.
Firstly
,in my opinion ,being successful in our jobs is definitely essential. For example
,we all know the population who spend days and nights studying and working hard also
,developing their situation in their workplace are more triumph than other humans. There is no denying that making efforts always answer
all our questions. Correct subject-verb agreement
answers
This
could cause people who are always attempting to become successful can reach their goals and become professional in their careers. Therefore
,this
makes it clear why spending hours in expending successful jobs are
the most important.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
By contrast
,some people still believe we should expend
days and nights with family and friends. Verb problem
spend
For instance
,in most countries in today
modern world, there are many humans who prefer to conduct an ordinary occupation rather than having a powerful circumstance. Change noun form
today's
This
means they just want to earn money. These populations prefer to have much free time with their families and friends instead
of working hard. This
would probably be due to
the change in peoples' lifestyles. Additionally
,the attitudes related to being successful have been transformed in 21
century. Replace the word
the 21st
As a result
,it becomes apparent there is a conspicuous reason behind each claim via societies.
To summarise ,I personally believe that the communities should commence expending
Correct your spelling
spending
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
a
successful occupation rather than wasting hours with others. It is predicted that to continue conducting Change preposition
in a
this
by the population in the world we will become more triumph in all our operations than Change preposition
in the
the
past in the near futureChange preposition
in the
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
To improve task response, focus more on directly addressing the prompt and providing a balanced argument for both views. Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and supported by relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas in a more structured manner. Use transition words to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively, and ensure that your arguments flow logically from one point to the next.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!