IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign language, schools should not force to learn foreign language. to what extend do you agree or disagree

#children #language #schools #force
Since
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
children
 face obstacles when learning foreign
languages
, schools should not
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
show examples
 the offsprings learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. Nowadays, many educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 are emphasizing on teaching the
children
a foreign
Correct the article-noun agreement
a foreign language
foreign languages
show examples
languages
 supposing it will help in their future life
however
 giving the new
language
 may negatively affect on their grades from other subjects. I partially agree with the given statement. To commence, foreign
languages
 play a great role in building the fundamental background of
children
 from a young age. At
first
, it’s a good opportunity to meet the various cultures of the world and to have at least minor imagination about other nations.
Secondly
, knowing the additional
language
 is a guarantee for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future as it creates a good job opportunity.
Thus
, as much attention is put on teaching foreign
languages
 at school the pretty results will be visible after some decades.
On the other hand
, there are myriad drawbacks to putting so much load at schools may lead to unpleasant changes
such
 as losing the desire to learn knowledge at all.
Furthermore
, the educational achievement from other subjects may significantly get worse because
children
 will focus on the additional
language
. To summarize, there are some merit and demerit to learning a foreign
language
. It may create a good future for
children
, whereas may make the stressful atmosphere to learn the other programs. In my opinion, it’s necessary to build
language
 specialized schools in order to increase the coverage of teaching new
languages
.
Submitted by azickww on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: