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Writing Samples
Band 7

it is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

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Most
people
Use synonyms
 around the globe are convinced to having a TV ,refrigerator and automobile is essential for living. ,
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
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 these luxurious
items
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 are found as a major cause of the current epidemic of non-communicable
diseases
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 in humans. Apart from that, most believe these luxurious
items
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 will keep humans away from humanity . Since these factors , I believe the disadvantages of these modern developments are far more than their advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , when we consider the new vehicles , they simplified human life and keep them away from doing physical exercises.
Also
Linking Words
 , when
people
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 watch
television
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 for hours and hours , their sedentary lifestyle is far more established and they become fat. Same time , when these humans eat refrigerated foods , their bodies get a lot of toxic agents and fewer antioxidants. Ultimately, all of these behaviour leads to the development of non-communicable
diseases
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 like hypertension and diabetes.
For example
Linking Words
 , recent research done at Oxford University suggested, Major cause of non-communicable
diseases
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 in European nations is their sedentary lifestyle.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , when we consider these new luxurious
items
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 , they keep
people
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 far away from each other. When
people
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 engage in
items
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 like
television
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 , they simply do not have time to speak even with a family member.
For example
Linking Words
 , a recent study done in Sri Lankan university had found , more and more time
people
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 engage with
television
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 and computers , there will be a high rate of conflict among them and their family members. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
people
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 around the world try to use new technology like automobiles ,
television
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 and fridge , these
items
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 will give rise to more and more chronic
diseases
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 among the community and they lead to fracture the bond between
people
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. For these reasons,
this
Linking Words
 writer believes that the negative effects of using these luxurious
items
Use synonyms
 are far more than their positive effects.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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