it is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

Most
people
around the globe are convinced to having a TV ,refrigerator and automobile is essential for living. ,
Unfortunately
Add a comma
,Unfortunately
show examples
these luxurious
items
are found as a major cause of the current epidemic of non-communicable
diseases
in humans. Apart from that, most believe these luxurious
items
will keep humans away from humanity . Since these factors , I believe the disadvantages of these modern developments are far more than their advantages.
Firstly
, when we consider the new vehicles , they simplified human life and keep them away from doing physical exercises.
Also
, when
people
watch
television
for hours and hours , their sedentary lifestyle is far more established and they become fat. Same time , when these humans eat refrigerated foods , their bodies get a lot of toxic agents and fewer antioxidants. Ultimately, all of these behaviour leads to the development of non-communicable
diseases
like hypertension and diabetes.
For example
, recent research done at Oxford University suggested, Major cause of non-communicable
diseases
in European nations is their sedentary lifestyle.
Secondly
, when we consider these new luxurious
items
, they keep
people
far away from each other. When
people
engage in
items
like
television
, they simply do not have time to speak even with a family member.
For example
, a recent study done in Sri Lankan university had found , more and more time
people
engage with
television
and computers , there will be a high rate of conflict among them and their family members. In conclusion,
although
people
around the world try to use new technology like automobiles ,
television
and fridge , these
items
will give rise to more and more chronic
diseases
among the community and they lead to fracture the bond between
people
. For these reasons,
this
writer believes that the negative effects of using these luxurious
items
are far more than their positive effects.
Submitted by mngldissanayaka on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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