Technology has brought many benefits to people, however, some elderly have difficult using technology. What are the possible benefits of technology for the elderly population and how can they be encouraged to use it. Give answers and explainations to support your opion.

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It seems that many older
people
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have difficulty in using
technology
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regardless of its incredible benefits. The biggest
advantage
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would be the social interaction, which makes them happy and fulfilled.
However
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, support from young
people
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would be essential to promote their use. The primary benefit that seniors can gain from the advancement of
technology
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is the increasing opportunities to talk with others online, which discourages them from feeling isolated.
In other words
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, the growing dependence on smartphones and computers allows them to enjoy virtual conversation with their friends and family
as well as
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exchange photos and video clips, making it easier for them to understand a mutual life.
Furthermore
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, seniors are more likely to feel secure as they are connected online with others even when they live by themselves, for they are often able to gain immediate response in an emergency
such
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as some sickness and accidents.
Therefore
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, many elderly
people
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using electric gadgets feel satisfied with their intimate relationships with their children and friends as they do not have to feel lonely in their homes. In order to promote the use of
technology
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among the old, advice from young adults plays a significant role as their knowledge often exceeds that of older
people
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. Indeed, young
people
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are generally more used to using their smartphones to their own
advantage
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as
such
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electric tools have become an essential part of their lives; remote work and study are common and they
also
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rely on them as a major means of communication in a daily life.
Thus
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, their understanding of
technology
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is sophisticated, which should be delivered to older generations so they can not only catch up with the latest trends but
also
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take
advantage
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of them in every aspect of their lives. Using the knowledge they learn from the young can be useful from ordering delivery services to initiating business online, which allows seniors to explore an exciting life that they could not have had in the past. In conclusion, I believe that the most important
advantage
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for older
people
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is the increasing communication chances with other
people
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on the Internet, which increases their sense of safety. Young
people
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should provide helpful advice so they can gain essential knowledge of
technology
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for their own needs.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more context and clarity. This will help make your points more convincing and illustrate your arguments better.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more connecting words and phrases can help improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both the benefits of technology for the elderly and ways to encourage its use.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telemedicine
  • real-time health data
  • videoconferencing
  • social isolation
  • digital literacy
  • user-friendly
  • online banking
  • streaming services
  • e-books
  • telehealth
  • wearable health devices
  • remote consultations
  • accessibility features
  • mental stimulation
  • inclusive technology
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