Some people think that dangerous extreme sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #sports #rock

Over the

last

two or three decades,

sports

has been rising tremendously among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humankind,

therefore

, they like to participate in all kinds of

sports

even peril games too.

However

, some believe that dangerous

sports

should be prohibited,

such

as rock climbing and sky-diving. I strongly disagree with

this

statement and

this

game

should not forbid,

this

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with, most extreme dangerous games should not be banned because all

sports

have numerous amount of perils not only

this

kind, the jeopardy, it depends on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind how much they have experienced about

this

game

For example

, a plethora of western

nations

have banned these kinds of games in their

nations

, but

sports

accidents increase day-to-day.

In addition

this

kind of

game

gives a plethora of new

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

and

achievement

Fix the agreement mistake

achievements

show examples

who are participated,

this

part of

game

Add an article

the game

show examples

, not only provides extreme danger but

also

the soft

game

can provide more perils,

therefore

, these

sports

should not be prohibited.

Furthermore

this

is the one kind of earnings in many

nations

such

as tourism,

this

can help to attract the tourist destination,

as a result

, mankind likes to visit these places for the only reason is rock climbing and sky-diving.

For instance

, India earns a million amount of dollars from these kinds of

sports

activities,

therefore

, numerous

outsider

Fix the agreement mistake

outsiders

show examples

can visit

this

country for playing and

enjoying

Wrong verb form

enjoy

show examples

In addition

, if

this

part of

game

Add an article

the game

show examples

should ban, the population can go to other

nations

for doing and taking fun,

therefore

this

should not be prohibited. To conclude, each every

sports

Change to a singular noun

sport

show examples

have peril, not only

this

tourism

Add an article

the tourism

show examples

industry can earn a plethora of capital from

this

as well as takes fun activity an enormously.

Therefore

, I strongly disagree with

this

statement in the above-mentioned details and these parts of

sports

should not be banned. I hope

this

process is conducive to taking numerous adventures across the globe.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Tue Feb 01 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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