Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The opinion is divided on who should be blamed for childhood obesity.
Although
some persons are of the opinion that the authorities should be faulted, Linking Words
however
, I believe Linking Words
otherwise
and feel that caregivers should be held accountable. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion Linking Words
thereafter
.
On the one hand, members of the public who blame the government believe they ought to be adequately enlightened through educative media platforms on the risk factors and complications of the disease. As Linking Words
such
, they are unable to make good decisions about a healthy lifestyle. Linking Words
For example
, statistics have shown that the majority of parents only Linking Words
associated
overweight and diabetes with the elderly. Wrong verb form
associate
Hence
, their offspring at a tender age Linking Words
acquires
the disease without them seeking proper medical treatment.
Correct subject-verb agreement
acquire
On the other hand
, the influence of the caregivers in the development of a child is far more impacting, Linking Words
therefore
, parents must have the greatest responsibility in caring for their children. Linking Words
Firstly
, the quality of meals consumed daily by the kid contains a lot of fat. Linking Words
Accordingly
, there is an accumulation of adipose tissues which Linking Words
result
in obesity. Correct subject-verb agreement
results
For instance
, recent studies have shown that most household meals in a typical Australian family contain excess Linking Words
amount
of refined sugar and saturated fat which have been linked with an obese state. Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
Thus
, predisposing the child to Linking Words
overweight
. Add a missing verb
be overweight
Moreover
, parents hardly have time for their kids and try to engage them Linking Words
with
indoor sports like video games. Change preposition
in
Consequently
, less time is devoted to exercise leading to a sedentary lifestyle and being overweight.
In conclusion, the idea of who should be faulted for teenage obesity is still debatable. Even though authorities could be blamed, I believe guidance must take full accountability Linking Words
through
Change preposition
for
various
reasons highlighted above.Correct article usage
the various
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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all aspects of the prompt, including discussing both views and providing a reasoned opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by making them more impactful and clearly stating the main points that will be discussed in the essay.