IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some cultures, children are encouraged to compete against each other. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach?

#cultures #children #approach
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
 decade, there has been a massive rise in competition amongst
children
Use synonyms
. Some communities motivate offspring to take part in games amongst
children
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how
children
Use synonyms
 can develop their hidden
abilities
Use synonyms
 and become self-motivated and more independent if they compete;
however
Linking Words
, sometimes might lose confidence and have more force. The advantages of competing against each other are
children
Use synonyms
 can develop their hidden
abilities
Use synonyms
 and become self-motivated and independent. If they work hard, it will increase their capacity to learn new skills and can manage anything by themselves. A child who has taken part in the competition will achieve anything they want in their lives.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to an increase in their overall growth. The more
children
Use synonyms
 take part in, the better they will develop their
abilities
Use synonyms
 and management skills. The main challenges are that offspring may lose their determination and increase their stress. Some compete seriously with each other so it will affect their level of confidence.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will have more pressure from parents and cultures to compete and win games at any cost. When offsprings lose games, they will take it seriously and lose their
abilities
Use synonyms
 to become confident and become more stressed. The more take it seriously, the greater the stress and loss determination. In conclusion, the trend of competing has been increasing in the past few years. Competing helps offspring to broad hidden skills and makes them self-supported.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it may lead to adown confidence level and give more stress to some
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by parth.ramanbhai67 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: