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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People today can use the internet to learn about lives and cultures in other countries, so it is not necessary to travel anymore. Do you agree?

#people #internet #lives #cultures #countries #travel
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The Internet is the greatest invention of the 20th century. It is often argued that just by browsing through it , one can gain an understanding of other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 customs and traditions. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that human interaction is important in knowing people and
its surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
their surroundings
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. First of all, travelling creates meaningful relationships. There's nothing better than the feeling of excitement of going to a new place, meeting the locals, and personally witnessing the way of life of the people around it. Things that couldn't be felt by just browsing online.
For instance
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, watching Chinese families make dumplings in preparation for
Lunar
Correct article usage
the Lunar
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 New Year online isn't comparable with the experience of a traveller who is in China and making it with the local Chinese family.
Second,
Linking Words
exploration of a new place gives more personal knowledge and understanding.
Hence
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, it makes long-lasting memories.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 helps shape someone's personality and perspective in life.
Moreover
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, not all information online is factual,
therefore
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, it gives people wrong ideas.
For example
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,
due to
Linking Words
 the international media portrayal of China, many foreigners think that it is a secluded and outdated society when in fact, it's the entire opposite. For the past 13 years of
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
 being in the country, I would testify how it had advanced technologically and slowly opened to the world over the years. In conclusion, I strongly believe that learning firsthand through travelling is necessary for knowing other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 lives and cultures because it's more worthwhile and meaningful.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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