IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarranted, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#people #animals #test #safety #medicines #necessity
People have different views as to whether testing on
animals
 for medical purposes is necessary. In my perspective, despite some people arguing that
this
 idea should be prohibited, I firmly believe that it brings about many more benefits to society. On the one hand, it is commonly believed by some individuals that
animals
 should not be used in science experiments for one main reason. One of the major factors to be considered is that animal life should be respected and treated equally by humans.
In other words
,
animals
 have the right to live without suffering.
Consequently
, individuals should have the moral right to do an experiment on
animals
such
 as finding other alternative methods that do not permanently disable
animals
 or kill them.
As a result
, it is fair to state that the reason for medical development does not justify the suffering of
animals
.
On the other hand
, there are three main aspects why testing on
animals
 is crucial to our society.
Firstly
, it is an indispensable procedure in the scientific process in order to guarantee human safety. To be more illustrated, during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2019, scientists used several rats to test new vaccines, which was the most important medicine in the world at that time, and people required some statistics to relieve them from stress and scare of using a new medical treatment.
Secondly
, nowadays, scientists not only use the least suffering way to test them but
also
 take care of them with sufficient food.
Lastly
, trying on
animals
 could directly reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
animals
such
 as rats, which increase significantly year by year, in various countries. In conclusion,
although
 there are some disadvantages to testing
animals
 for human medicines, I am convinced that the benefits would outweigh the drawbacks
overall
.
Submitted by pandin21 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task; however, including a few more detailed and specific examples would strengthen the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth progression between paragraphs by using consistent linking words and phrases. This will further enhance the cohesion and make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay's introduction clearly outlines both views on animal testing and presents the writer's opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments and reiterates the writer's stance, providing a strong closure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with clear transitions between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal testing
  • ethical concerns
  • alternative methods
  • pain and distress
  • fatal outcomes
  • in vitro testing
  • computer modeling
  • human-patient simulators
  • necessary practice
  • medical advancement
  • physiological similarities
  • predicting human reactions
  • life-saving treatments
  • strict regulations
  • ethical guidelines
  • humane treatment
  • universal acceptance
  • alternative testing methods
  • safeguard human health
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