The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #individuals #internet #companies #organizations #outweigh

Today, we all are enrolled with one if not more social media companies are that Facebook, Twitter, Google or even LinkedIn. All the data provided by us either during enrollment or through our actions and behaviours on the app are stored by these organizations. For the mass public, I believe that the disadvantages of

this

holding data outweigh the advantages. The primary advantage is that using

this

information, these social media firms create a personalised experience for us.

This

means that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the home page on my Twitter app is customised based on my interests and will not match that of another individual.

However

, against

this

, there are several disadvantages.

Firstly

, companies like Google are known to sell our personal data to other companies; which ethically is a huge violation of privacy.

As a result

, you would notice that if you search for an iPhone on google you'll find yourself bombarded with ads selling you an iPhone.

Secondly

, some organizations

also

provide political agencies with access to stored information.

This

is a very dangerous precedent and manifests into manipulating political opinion.

For instance

, Facebook is currently being investigated for selling information to D Trump's political campaign during the 2012 elections. In conclusion, I think the advantages are far too little to compensate for the advantages. User info must be protected and only used with consent.

Submitted by saher.meeran on Thu Feb 03 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

224 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

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