Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice and give your own opinion.

In many families, it is recently common to give
children
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pocket
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money
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. The essay will discuss both
benefits
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the benefits
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and drawbacks of
this
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question. In my perspective, it is a good practice, which can be the first lesson of the economy and can help to teach
children
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to save
money
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. The first thing that needs to be said is some general advantages of
this
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issue.
According to
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research, individuals, who were given up
pocket
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money
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when they were
children
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, can better save and earn
money
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in their adult life. A habit
to save
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of saving
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money
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, which is taught in adolescence, can
be saved
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save
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a whole life. And reversely, a person, who was not given
pocket
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money
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in childhood, with high probability, would be a spendthrift.
This
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is explained by the fact, that
pocket
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money
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gives
children
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their first understanding of an
economical
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economic
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system. With
this
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instrument,
children
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have an opportunity to understand how
money
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spread
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spreads
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through the market.
Therefore
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,
this
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knowledge can help them in their future life to better earn and save
money
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. The most common argument against
this
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is people's
strongly believing
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strong belief
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that
money
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gives an opportunity to buy different addictive things like alcohol, drugs, PC games and others.
Children
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cannot be responsible for their lives,
due to
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their young undeveloped brain system.
This
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fact can make them
depending
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depend
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on a negative environment and, those who have
money
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,
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apply
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can be more influenced,
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, if adults protect their
children
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from these purchases by fixing their expenses and teaching them, these consequences could be escaped.
Moreover
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, should not be forgotten, that close participation in the rearing process is the main obligation of any parent. The relationships between parents and
children
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must be strong, in these cases, adolescents can avoid the above-mentioned problems. In conclusion,
pocket
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money
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can cause negative consequences only in situations, when parents do not educate their
children
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as well.
Otherwise
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,
pocket
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money
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has
exceptionally
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an exceptionally
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a
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apply
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positive impact on
children
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's development. In my perspective, the pros of
pocket
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money
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are more significant, than the cons.

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task achievement
Expand the conclusion to summarize the main arguments discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words to improve the flow between ideas in paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your examples to make them more relevant and specific.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that pocket money can be beneficial for children's development.
coherence and cohesion
The structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
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