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Band 4.5

Many people are working longer and longer hours. What are the reasons and effects?

#people #hours #effects
With the development in all aspect in today world
such
 as technology, social so as the workload
are
Change the verb form
also increases
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also
 increase in order to catch up with those advancement leading to people nowadays are working longer and longer period than before.
This
 essay will analyze specifically
about
Change preposition
apply
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the reasons and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 effect In modern societies, wherever people work, they have to be capable of working extra hours to finish all their duty due to the high workloads. Another reason for that phenomenon which directly related to the demands
in
Correct your spelling
inefficiency
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efficiency
Add an article
the efficiency
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 of a worker.
For example
,
instead
 of spending
time
 to relax, those people have to wider their work span to accomplished their task. These reasons have a lot of drawbacks,
firstly
, working with
longer
Replace the word
long
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time
 gradually became a standard in
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
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 world which cause a generation of worker with low efficient no matter how much
time
 the spent on
doin
Correct your spelling
doing
 their task.
Moreover
,
this
 trend
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
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 a lot of health problems.
For instance
, stress and visions are among the most common disease which directly
affect
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affects
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worker’s
Fix the agreement mistake
workers’
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 consciousness. To sum up, working with a
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 hours are now inevitable,
nevertheless
, to obtain both
efficient
Replace the word
efficiency
show examples
 and health, a worker themselves have to balance their
time
 spent on keeping their health and work
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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