IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Should the government fund education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?

#government #fund #education #healthcare #system
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating up a debate whether the authorities should spare their coffer on medical as well as the educational
system
Use synonyms
. I would contend that it is crucial for the
government
Use synonyms
 to make use of its budget for both schooling and the healthcare
system
Use synonyms
. Without a shadow of a doubt, allocating the
government
Use synonyms
’s coffer to education brings immensely positive influences on humans and society. The educational
system
Use synonyms
 is a background of the nation’s economy, which provides its dwellers with a great deal of knowledge and an abundant set of useful skills. In
this
Linking Words
 way, it generates a high-quality
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 workforce.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Germany, the authorities bring in a free-of-charge tuition policy on a massive scale for both international and domestic students to encourage young people to get access to the academy, which leads to a prosperous and immensely developed nation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should spare money for the educational
system
Use synonyms
. While the redeeming features of spending funding on schooling are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of medical care are ignored. Nowadays, since countries become modern and modern, the consequences following them are quite complex,
that is
Linking Words
, more strange diseases appear, which are unprecedented. They emerge at an alarming rate that has a tremendously severe impact on dwellers' lives, especially people, who aren't affordable for specific remedies.
This
Linking Words
 not only triggers the decline in their health, but
also
Linking Words
 they will become burdens on society.
Hence
Linking Words
, the facilities need to be enhanced or replaced by advanced ones.
For example
Linking Words
, during the pandemic Covid-19, the
government
Use synonyms
 in Vietnam invested money in vaccines for all citizens, including the homeless to deteriorate the death toll and prevent the spread of epidemics.
Thus
Linking Words
, the national budget should be invested in the medical
system
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate, the educational and health care
system
Use synonyms
 are significant factors of a country, so it is vital for the
government
Use synonyms
 to invest in both majors.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: