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Band 7.5

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
I think that we should have strict methods to restrict
noise
while
 others argue that they could make
noise
 if they want. In
this
 essay below, I will explain and give information in detail to shed light on both views. It is clear to see that making
noise
 is one of the most serious causes of
noise
 pollution in the public environment. First and foremost, making
noise
 in a public environment can cause distraction for
people
 who choose
this
 place to complete their tasks.
Although
 public space is for everyone and
people
 can do whatever they want,
people
 must control their behaviour and emotions to respect
people
 in
this
 area even when they are very excited.
Furthermore
,
people
’s behaviours in the community area can reflect our personality,
hence
, protecting public space not only has positive benefits for the community but
also
 enhances our interpersonal and soft skills for comprehensive development in the future.
Nevertheless
, we can not deny that making
noise
 in some
cases
 can be a great way to deal with mental health diseases even when we are facing dangerous
cases
.
Firstly
, making
noise
 can reduce worry and emotions for
people
 who have depression and anxiety disorder.
According to
 the WHO organization, through an experiment in 2020 of
people
 in AJC hospital, most mental patients have good transformations after they suffer from loud sounds for a long time. It is precise evidence that
noise
 can restrict terrible thinking and potentially violent behaviours in mental patients.
Besides
, it can secure
people
 from dangerous circumstances
such
 as kidnapping, pickpocketing,...In these
cases
, it is a necessary skill for
people
 to protect themself or even secure other
people
 who meet these kinds of
cases
. In conclusion, despite making
noise
 can have positive effects in some particular circumstances, it is still a negative phenomenon that
people
 must control responsibly for community duty.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your body paragraphs have a clear topic sentence and a logical flow that leads to your conclusion. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Diversify the range of vocabulary and sentence structures used to enhance the depth of your writing.
introduction conclusion
You have clearly introduced both perspectives in the debate about noise control, which provides a well-structured framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes a balanced discussion of both views, demonstrating your ability to understand and evaluate different arguments.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'first and foremost', 'furthermore', 'in conclusion') to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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