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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
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I think that we should have strict methods to restrict
noise
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while
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 others argue that they could make
noise
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 if they want. In
this
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 essay below, I will explain and give information in detail to shed light on both views. It is clear to see that making
noise
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 is one of the most serious causes of
noise
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 pollution in the public environment. First and foremost, making
noise
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 in a public environment can cause distraction for
people
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 who choose
this
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 place to complete their tasks.
Although
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 public space is for everyone and
people
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 can do whatever they want,
people
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 must control their behaviour and emotions to respect
people
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 in
this
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 area even when they are very excited.
Furthermore
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,
people
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’s behaviours in the community area can reflect our personality,
hence
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, protecting public space not only has positive benefits for the community but
also
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 enhances our interpersonal and soft skills for comprehensive development in the future.
Nevertheless
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, we can not deny that making
noise
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 in some
cases
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 can be a great way to deal with mental health diseases even when we are facing dangerous
cases
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.
Firstly
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, making
noise
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 can reduce worry and emotions for
people
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 who have depression and anxiety disorder.
According to
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 the WHO organization, through an experiment in 2020 of
people
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 in AJC hospital, most mental patients have good transformations after they suffer from loud sounds for a long time. It is precise evidence that
noise
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 can restrict terrible thinking and potentially violent behaviours in mental patients.
Besides
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, it can secure
people
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 from dangerous circumstances
such
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 as kidnapping, pickpocketing,...In these
cases
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, it is a necessary skill for
people
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 to protect themself or even secure other
people
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 who meet these kinds of
cases
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. In conclusion, despite making
noise
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 can have positive effects in some particular circumstances, it is still a negative phenomenon that
people
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 must control responsibly for community duty.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your body paragraphs have a clear topic sentence and a logical flow that leads to your conclusion. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Diversify the range of vocabulary and sentence structures used to enhance the depth of your writing.
introduction conclusion
You have clearly introduced both perspectives in the debate about noise control, which provides a well-structured framework for your essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes a balanced discussion of both views, demonstrating your ability to understand and evaluate different arguments.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'first and foremost', 'furthermore', 'in conclusion') to connect ideas and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • noise levels
  • stress
  • disturb sleep
  • imposing legal restrictions
  • peaceful living environment
  • tolerance levels
  • personal freedom
  • business operations
  • designated quiet zones
  • commercial and industrial zones
  • urban areas
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
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