IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In contemporary society, everyone should have equal opportunities in education. Therefore, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #opportunities #education #universities #numbers #students
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Currently, life is running with the concept of
equality
Use synonyms
 as all human beings are entitled to have equal rights irrespective of their genders.
This
Linking Words
 must be applied in the field of education;
therefore
Linking Words
,
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
 number of male and female students should be enrolled in all subjects in tertiary education. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea as men and women are created equally by the nature.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will teach a lesson of
equality
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 to our progeny.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in terms of getting admission, there should not be any discrimination based on
gender
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 in
universities
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature has produced men and women equally. They make a strong foundation of
human
Add an article
the human
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 race so both have equal
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 education at university levels.
Therefore
Linking Words
, all humans regardless of their sex have a right to qualify from university and none of them has priority over
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can happen if all educational sectors create
equal
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an equal
show examples
quota
Fix the agreement mistake
quotas
show examples
 for male and female students in all disciplines in
universities
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the concept of equal educational opportunities for people without
gender
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 preference in
universities
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 will help future generations to learn
equality
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 in life. It will eliminate the old
sterotypical
Correct your spelling
stereotypical
 ideas from society and new generations will see a future ahead
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 will be free from
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality. In Norway,
this
Linking Words
 idea has been applied in 500
universities
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 a couple of decades ago. Recently, a survey of youth has proven that 40% of the young
geration
Correct your spelling
generation
 there is 10 times more strick about
gender
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equality
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 than their
counter parts
Correct your spelling
counterparts
show examples
 in other
universities
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. In conclusion, humanity should be taught in
tertiary
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the tertiary
a tertiary
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educational
Replace the word
education
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 sector without any
gender
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 preference in all subjects because all humans are made equal and
this
Linking Words
 is an excellent lesson for our posteriority to learn. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, completely agree that male and female students must learn all subjects in
universities
Use synonyms
 by having equal enrollment opportunities.
Submitted by tubashaukat93 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunities
  • Gender equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Diverse
  • Gender disparity
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • Humanities
  • Quotas
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Meritocracy
  • Tokenism
  • Workforce
  • Leadership roles
  • Aptitude-based
  • Scholarships
  • Economic growth
  • Innovation
  • Social stability
  • Comparative analysis
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