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Band 5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governmentsmust invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governmentsmust #services
Nowadays, the government invests more economic resources in the development of the arts than in public
servicessuch
Correct your spelling
services such
service such
 as education or health care. My writing supports that in many cases
art
 funding is considered a waste of money.
This
 essay will describe why the financing of public services should play the most important role in the activities
ofthe
Correct your spelling
of the
 administration. There are several motives why it is beneficial to determine a large amount of budget for the civil services development.
Firstly
, the improvement of
such
 public spheres as education, healthcare and transport infrastructure presents
notonly
Correct your spelling
not only
 the county's index in the world. It
also
 has an effect on the living standards of citizens, and high rates of
thislevel
Correct your spelling
this level
 is a push for the harmonious evolution of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society.
For instance
, in advanced countries,
wherescience
Correct your spelling
where science
, sports and medicine are greatly improved,
art
 develops in parallel without much
state
fund
Wrong verb form
funding
show examples
.
Secondly
, in certain countries relatives of politicians are mainly engaged in
art
. In
this
 case, it is obvious
thatunnecessary
Correct your spelling
that unnecessary
 waste for promotions from the
state
 treasury is inevitable.
For example
, the president of
Turkmenistanis
Correct your spelling
Turkmenistan is
Turkmenistan
 very obsessed with
art
 - every year he releases his own songs and arranges concerts. All these activities
arecarried
Correct your spelling
are carried
 out at the expense of the
state
.
Thus
, it turns out that a certain part of the
state
 budget is spent on
art
, while
itis
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 possible
master
Fix the infinitive
to master
show examples
 steppes and build new industrial enterprises. In conclusion, every financial contribution of the
state
 must be in favour of the people. If citizens are provided
withwell
Correct your spelling
with well
 refined public services,
then
art
 will develop along with the public life quality.
Submitted by icemarat6 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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