IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that capital punishment are effective in term of curving crimes and should be given priority during choosing punishment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The Effectiveness of Capital
Punishment
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 in Curbing Crimes The debate surrounding the effectiveness of capital
punishment
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 in deterring
crime
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 and its priority in the judicial system is long-standing and multifaceted. Proponents argue that it serves as a strong deterrent and delivers
justice
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,
while
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 opponents contend it is inhumane, prone to judicial errors, and does not significantly reduce
crime
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 rates.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a reasoned stance on the issue. Deterrence and
Justice
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 Advocates of capital
punishment
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 often claim that the fear of
death
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 acts as a powerful deterrent against serious crimes
such
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 as murder and terrorism. The underlying premise is that potential offenders, aware of the ultimate
penalty
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, will be dissuaded from committing heinous acts.
In addition
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, proponents argue that capital
punishment
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 delivers
justice
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 by ensuring that perpetrators of the most egregious crimes receive the most severe
penalty
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, thereby offering closure to victims' families and society at large. Questionable Deterrence and Moral Concerns
However
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, the deterrent effect of capital
punishment
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 is highly contentious. Numerous studies have shown no conclusive evidence that the
death
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penalty
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 is more effective at deterring
crime
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 than life imprisonment. In fact, countries with low
crime
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 rates,
such
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 as many in Europe, have abolished capital
punishment
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, suggesting that other factors play a more significant role in
crime
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 prevention.
Moreover
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, the moral and ethical implications of state-sanctioned execution cannot be overlooked. The irreversible nature of the
death
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penalty
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 means that judicial errors, which are inevitable in any
justice
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 system, can lead to the wrongful execution of innocent individuals.
This
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 risk alone is a powerful argument against capital
punishment
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, as the value of human life and the potential for rehabilitation must be considered. Cost and Alternative Punishments Another practical consideration is the cost associated with capital
punishment
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. The legal processes involved in
death
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penalty
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 cases are typically lengthy and expensive
due to
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 the necessary appeals and extensive legal safeguards. These resources could be redirected towards more effective
crime
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 prevention and rehabilitation programs.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure you address the prompt completely. Include a clear stance in the conclusion, summarizing your argument and stating your position definitively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph follows logically from the one before it. Linking phrases and cohesive devices can help connect ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Conclude the essay with a strong summary of the arguments presented, clearly stating your viewpoint. This will help tie your essay together and make your position unmistakable.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and a concluding paragraph. Each paragraph focuses on distinct points, which enhances readability.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate for an academic essay, and the arguments are presented in a logical order.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by presenting both perspectives of the debate. This demonstrates comprehensive analysis and critical thinking skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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