Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believethere are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A group of
people
think that the main purpose of
university
studies
is to help their
students
in getting a better career.Others disagree with the opinion, as they believe that undergraduate
studies
give more benefits for their
graduatesbesides
Correct your spelling
graduates besides
graduate besides
better jobs. The following essay will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both views in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. On the one hand, many
people
believe that the main goal of college
studies
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
get a better job.
This
thought
hasbeen
Correct your spelling
has been
generally accepted by the public, as many companies are only hiring
people
who have obtained
certaindegrees
Correct your spelling
certain degrees
.
For example
, it is common that multinational oil companies
such
as Shell, Chevron or Caltex will only
recruitnew
Correct your spelling
recruit new
staffs who have obtained their bachelor degree, while those who have no degrees will only be hired as
generallabours
Correct your spelling
general labors
general labour
general labours
in small factories. As a consequence, many
university
students
only focus on their academic
studies
and
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
participate in any extracurricular
activities
, as they believe that those programs are not important.
On the other hand
, another group of
people
think that
university
studies
give wider benefits to their
students
besidesthe
Correct your spelling
besides the
besides
career purpose.
Firstly
,
university
studies
give the
students
a chance to enhance their talents in other fields,
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
their academy
studies
. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, it is common that universities are arranging sports
activities
such
asbasketball
Correct your spelling
as basketball
or football. Many
students
have experienced the advantage of
this
program, which has helped them
inbecoming
Correct your spelling
in becoming
professional athletes
such
as Michael Jordan or Grant Hill.
Secondly
, universities
also
provide social
clubssuch
Correct your spelling
clubs such
club such
as a speech or a leadership club which are useful for the
students
.
Students
who join these clubs
willexperience
Correct your spelling
will experience
a lot of benefits as they learn how to interact with other
people
, deliver attractive presentations and
howto
Correct your spelling
how to
show examples
lead an organisation.
Therefore
many campuses are organising and arranging these extracurricular
activities
andpersuading
Correct your spelling
and persuading
their
students
to get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
with one of the clubs. In my opinion,
although
it is undeniable that the main aim of studying in
university
is to get a better career, I
dobelieve
Correct your spelling
do believe
believe
that other
activities
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided
Add a missing verb
are provided
show examples
by the campus are
also
beneficial for the
students
. And I think that
studentsshould
Correct your spelling
students should
have a proportionate time between academic study, extracurricular
activities
and social life.
Submitted by icemarat6 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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