Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many argue that older family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be taken
care
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by
Change preposition
of by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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younger family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and are responsible to support them mentally, physically and financially when they are unable to look after themselves. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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it is everyone's
responsibility
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to take
care
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

their
Change preposition
of their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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parents or grandparents once they become older and cannot look after themselves but many
fails
Change the verb form
fail

The singular verb fails does not appear to agree with the plural subject many. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to take that
responsibility
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own due to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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globalisation. Everyone agrees that after a certain
ages
Correct the article-noun agreement
age

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun ages in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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our parents and grandparents become weak and less
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious

If you don’t want concious to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by physical, mentally and financially and it is our
responsibility
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to look after themselves because they are unable to work and earn
by
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own. So younger family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should support and
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil

If you don’t want fullfil to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

the need of their parents or grandparents whether it is about medication or other expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fastest growing
Add a hyphen
fastest-growing

It appears that fastest growing is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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world, many younger people
fails
Change the verb form
fail

The singular verb fails does not appear to agree with the plural subject people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to look after their older family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they travel all over the world due to business purpose and employment. Other than that, many of them do not have stability in their job or need to stay away from their families so it becomes quite tough for everyone to look
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

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both things simultaneously. For that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason

It seems that reasons may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, many younger people hire
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
Correct your spelling
caretakers

The word care takers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
for their older family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

so that they can stay home safely under the observation of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Correct your spelling
caretakers
show examples
Correct your spelling
caretakers

The word care takers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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care takers
Correct your spelling
caretakers
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even if their children
stays
Change the verb form
stay

The verb stays does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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far away from their home. To sum up
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people should understand their
responsibility
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

towards their older family
members
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and support themselves in their crucial stage of life whether they live with their families or stay away from
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • filial piety
  • elder care
  • aging population
  • public resources
  • state welfare
  • financial burden
  • legal mandate
  • family dynamics
  • moral responsibility
  • residency
  • integrity
  • dependency
What to do next:
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