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Nowadays some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people,rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development？

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development？
In recent years we have seen an increase in the number of retirement
homes
 around us. Many old
people
 now prefer to spend the rest of these
homes
 rather than with their children. I strongly
agree
Add the particle
toagree
show examples
 believe that it’s a development in the right direction.
First
 of all, as
people
 grow old they may require constant attention and
care
.
This
 may prove difficult to their children due to their hectic work schedule and other added responsibilities. It’s
also
 expensive to find a home nurse to look after the parents in their absence. The
care
homes
 are less expensive and they offer proper facilities and 24 hours
care
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
.
Further
, they
also
 have doctors residing with them so medical attention can be provided for those in need.
Secondly
, most
people
 find themselves more comfortable in the presence of their own age group,
this
 is the case for old
people
 as well. They can relate to each other’s problems and reminiscence about the past. The
care
homes
also
 offer many recreational activities
such
 as music, dance, pottery classes to engage them. They
also
 provide yoga classes
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them relax and lead a
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 life.
For example
, a survey conducted among old
people
 living in
care
homes
 and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 found that the one’s residing in the
homes
 stay positive, happy and more energetic than the latter.
Nevertheless
, government institutions should see to it that they are not exploited or deprived of their rights. In conclusion, I believe that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old
people
 to leave in retirement
homes
 as they offer more attention and facilities than their own
homes
. Proper monitoring should be done by the families as well as the government institutions in charge.
Submitted by geosunny345 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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