In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

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Obesity has become a major cause of disease among the young generation.

Children

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prefer fast foods to healthy choices.

This

Linking Words

has become a cause for concern,

thus

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adequate steps should be taken to tackle the problem. I believe a combined effort of both

parents

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and

government

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can solve the crisis.

Firstly

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parents

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are the ones who can influence

children

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from a young age. They have the power to control the child’s

food

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choices. From early childhood itself, they have to develop a system where kids are provided with nutritional

food

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For instance

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, a healthy diet should include fruits, vegetables, meat and occasionally fast

food

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can

also

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be given. They should maintain a proper balance and lead by example. Even though

parents

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play a major role

government

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can

also

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exert its power to monitor the unhealthy

food

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choices in the market. Schools providing lunch should consult with a dietician to provide the best available option for their

children

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. The

government

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can

also

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take steps to check whether the preservatives added in the

food

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products are age-appropriate and harmful.

For example

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government

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intervention on Maggi production prevented companies from using preservatives with high amounts of mercury which was found to be fatal for kids. They can

also

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make exercise a necessary part of the curriculum and educate the

children

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about its various benefits. To conclude, though the initial lessons in a healthy lifestyle start from home and

parents

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play a crucial role in shaping the kids, the

government

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can help by implementing various laws and restrictions relating to

food

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safety. The healthy younger generation is an essential part of the family and society so it’s our responsibility to guide them.

Submitted by geosunny345 on Sun Feb 06 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smart phone outweigh the disadvantages.

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying products (such as cellphones) or services (medical treatments) do you agree or disagree?

Some people arque that it is more Important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.