Some feel that tourism endangers culture while others feel it is beneficial. DIscuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In our modern day and age, many people are able to travel for leisure reasons. Touristic destinations have become crowded and devoted most of their activities to serve visitors which made some people think that tourism has negatively impacted their local culture
while
others believe it has a positive impact on their economy and employment. In
this
essay, I will discuss both points of view and give my opinion. Popular travel destinations
such
as the south of France and Greece thrive on touristic seasons which creates employment opportunities for individuals in local hotels and restaurants.
Moreover
, the local government benefit financially from the profits made from museums and local attraction sites which help in the maintenance of these attraction sites and the infrastructure of the city to properly accommodate the visitor's needs.
However
,
while
tourism can bring in profits for the local society, it can cause harm to the community and its culture.
For example
, in Andalusia ,Spain, the local dance and music in most parts of the region have transformed to modern style in order to please tourists and unfortunately, the background history of
such
traditional dances is mostly ignored.
Additionally
, some tourists litter or disrespect the rules and local customs which disturbs the locals and harms the environment in these cities. In conclusion, visiting new places and experiencing different cultures widen our horizons and connect us with other nations. I believe that tourism is a blessing that we should appreciate and enjoy in a balanced way without causing harm to the local citizens and their homelands. Local authorities should make efforts to preserve their customs and traditions and present them to visitors.
Also
, visitors who disrespect the laws should be fined and possibly banned from the country.
Submitted by ghadeersulami on

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task achievement
To further enhance clarity, consider providing additional examples or elaborating on how local governments can support cultural preservation. This would add depth to the argument and further highlight how a balance can be achieved between tourism and cultural preservation.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between points are consistently smooth throughout the essay to maintain the flow of ideas. Each paragraph should naturally lead to the next with logical connectors.
introduction/conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the writer's opinion and summarizing the discussion effectively.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to Andalusia, Spain.
logical structure
The logical structure is coherent, with ideas flowing logically from one to the next. The essay is easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural erosion
  • cultural homogenization
  • cultural heritage
  • mutual understanding
  • cultural diversity
  • preservation
  • economic incentive
  • revival
  • authenticity
  • over-commercialized
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