Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalization a positive or negative development?

#people #world #globalization #development

Currently, an increasing number of individuals believe that

globalization

is a common trend and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is advantageous for most of the public.

However

, others hold the opposite statement. Personally, in my opinion, it is a positive development

according to

some obvious reasons, described in the following paragraph. Primarily, it is an indispensable fact that living in a globalized world definitely allows ordinary people to feel more freedom.

This

is because people can have more opportunities to finish their personal goals or their dream career and they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

choose which parts of the earth they want to live or stay in.

For example

according to

the latest China newspaper, 80% of Chinese high students choose to apply for their college degree in other countries to help them finish their immigration dream;

therefore

, the younger generation is willing to become globalized citizens.

In addition

globalization

definitely reduces the disparity between the rich and the poor.

As a result

, based on the rule of

globalization

, developed countries have an obligation to help developing countries, especially when those are facing difficulties that are caused by natural disasters;

hence

, these types of places obviously have more chances to get help from others and recover quickly under helping.

However

, it is true that some individuals are worrying about some side effects of

globalization

such

as the endangered cultural diversity because the fusion of different cultures causes the disappearance of some traditional cultures.

For instance

, numerous pupils only speak English as their daily language and neglect their mother tongue.

Consequently

, it may be disadvantageous for local culture.

On the other hand

, the concern will be addressed, since local governments have been building different kinds of international schools to satisfy different students' desires, and Muslims as a good example;

therefore

, the potential problem

that is

caused by

globalization

may disappear in the future. In conclusion,

although

globalization

may jeopardize the diversity culture, it is beneficial for individuals;

hence

, I very much support it as a positive development.

Submitted by lyutingting520 on Mon Mar 27 2023

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid redundancy by merging similar ideas, such as addressing how globalization offers opportunities and freedom in one cohesive point.

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your examples by providing more context. For example, the mention of 'China newspaper' could be more specific and relevant.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear and balanced opinion, supporting globalization while acknowledging potential drawbacks.

coherence cohesion

Good use of transitional phrases like 'Primarily' and 'Therefore' contribute to the smooth flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalization a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today’s food travel thousands of miles before it reaches the customer. Some people say that it would be better for the economy and environment if people ate food produced from local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

Tell us about a day where you went out and had fun

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development