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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What are some of these changes in family structure and roles? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

In recent years, there have been substantial changes in family structure and roles, including
Use synonyms
women
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’s responsibilities and
size
Correct article usage
the size
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 of
families
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. Some people think these developments have more advantages while others believe they will have an adverse effect on society. Personally, I reckon that these social transformations would benefit people’s lives. Currently,
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women
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’s roles have changed. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fact that in the past, most
women
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 were housewives–doing domestic duties and looking after their children all day.
However
Linking Words
, today most
women
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 focus on their working lives more than household chores; some stay single and dedicate their time to climbing their corporate ladder.
This
Linking Words
 change in
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women
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’s
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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 has
also
Linking Words
 contributed to the change in family structure. Unlike the past, in which big
families
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 are the majority, today most
families
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 become smaller.
This
Linking Words
 little family consists of only parents and children, and in some cases, there are only a wife and a husband. Their relatives like grandparents stay in other places and meet other extended
families
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 only
in
Change preposition
at
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 some festivals. With respect to consequences from
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 changes, there would be an advantage to
women
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 who are widely accepted in their careers. As people thought
women
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 must be housewives in the past, important positions in many organizations would be only for men, leading to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 earnings and less career growth. Nowadays,
women
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however
Linking Words
 could move up the ladder to higher-responsible roles and get more income than men if they have a great performance.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the
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women
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’s role, the change in
size
Add an article
the size
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 of the family is a positive development because it would lead to
better
Add an article
the better
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 financial status of the family. It is common if there are fewer family members,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 consumer
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 on necessities
such
Linking Words
 as housing,
foods
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food
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, education, and medicines.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the family could have more savings, and they could spend on what they want. In conclusion, the role of
women
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 in the family and the smaller family’s size are key current social transformations for us. From my perspective, these lead to less inequality in
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women
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’s working life and better financial conditions, which would be positive for most people.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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