IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide better education.

#countries #prison #crime #people #education
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In a vast number of countries , keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminals in the custody is a decisive factor.
However
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, some individuals believe that developing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education
Use synonyms
 can be more useful.I believe exploring the causes of
this
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 problem can assist
to
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in
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 finding a
sulotion
Correct your spelling
solution
 to resolve it . poor quality of
education
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 could partly
acconut
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account
 for
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
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 in many
of
Change preposition
apply
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nations. providing people with effective
educaton
Correct your spelling
education
 play a vital role in
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
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 the
crime
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 rate in
social
Replace the word
society
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. The rate of crimes in the
depriverd
Correct your spelling
deprived
 area is too much high because the
children
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are suffer
Change the verb form
are suffering
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 from weak
education
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 and they find it difficult to finish their schools.
moreover
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 , numerous
of
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apply
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children
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 are forced to work from an early
ages
Correct the article-noun agreement
age
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 by their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 so they failed to obtain
Add an article
the qualification
a qualification
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qualification
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qualifications
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 and they are unable to find a descend job and it can cause
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 turn to
crime
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. the governments should invest in the
eductional
Correct your spelling
educational
 infrustcure and impose some hefty fines for those who ban their
children
Use synonyms
 from studying. working from an early
ages
Correct the article-noun agreement
age
show examples
 can
also
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 explain why people run into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crimes. many
children
Use synonyms
 in rural areas
compelled
Add a missing verb
are compelled
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 to work ,
consequently
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, they fail to obtain
strong
Add an article
the strong
a strong
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qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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. due to the fact these days employers are willing to recruit people who have
strong
Add an article
a strong
the strong
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credential
Fix the agreement mistake
credentials
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, they are unable to find a job with good incoming . government should bring the parents who force their
children
Use synonyms
 to work to trial and
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
several
 punish them. to conclude . poor quality of
education
Use synonyms
 and working from
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
early ages contribute to
crime
Use synonyms
 , governments can remedy
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
.in my opinion investing in infrustcure and posing fines are steps in the right direction.
Submitted by banan_reza on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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