IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say the most important thing about being rich is that it gives you the opportunity to give back or help the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #opportunity
It is undeniable that
money
 is important for everyone.
Although
, when a person becomes rich
then
 they have the opportunity to help the poor.
However
, I disagree with the given statement and I discuss my point in the upcoming paragraphs. An opportunity to help the unwealthy
people
 by giving
money
 is a good deed but I have the opposite view on
this
, I think that it becomes a habit of poor
people
 to make
money
 from the rich person.
For example
, in India, the finance city which is Mumbai has the largest number of poor
people
 and in recent news, one of the begger has more savings than the average worker in that city. How is that possible? They take
money
 from the wealthy one's and it becomes their hobby or I say their
job
 to beg for
money
. There are several ways to help the poor,
that is
job
 training and providing jobs to them. The government should take some action to provide jobs to poor
people
,
such
 as skilled departments that give training to the
people
 through
this
 become skilled workers and applied for a
job
. That department is present in Punjab state and there are many skilled labour training centres open which give training with a
job
 opportunities to them. Moving
further
, many NGO's works for poor
people
 and their main operation is to provide food, shelter, and medical facilities to them
that is
 a good thing
instead
 of giving them
money
. To conclude, rich
people
 have the opportunity to help the poor in various ways.
Money
 is not the solution for everything, sometimes providing food and skills training is far greater than
money
.
Submitted by rayatsahil7 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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