IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #company #support
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Undoubtedly,
employees
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 consider a key factor in the success of businesses, which makes the recruitment process extremely challenging. In
this
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 regard, some employers prefer to hire
workers
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 who make a commitment to
work
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 in the same workplace for life-long. From my standpoint, it is not acceptable to obligate
workers
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 to
work
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 in the same place since mandatory tasks could have undesirable consequences for both company and
employees
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.
Firstly
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, in order to have a successful company, it is essential that
workers
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 have a great sense of interest in their
job
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 duties.
However
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, sometimes unpleasant events could happen in the office,
such
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 as conflicts with colleagues or
work
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 discriminations, which can result in unwillingness to
work
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 in that atmosphere.
Hence
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, by the pressure coming along with the dissatisfying
job
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,
employees
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 have shown some depression signs while working in that place, and their performance highly decreases over time.
Secondly
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, lifetime commitment means that
employees
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 are restricted to the same position, and they never have a chance to get promoted or cooperate with better companies.
For example
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, once a worker gets a
job
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 offer with a higher salary from a well-known company, it is the
employees
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’ right to choose the better option for his/himself.
Thirdly
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, it is beneficial for business owners to decrease the turn-over rate by hiring one worker for a long time since they allocate a huge amount of money for
employees
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’ training process.
However
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, it would be challenging for new graduates to find
job
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 vacancies since all the positions are full with the former
workers
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 so unemployment rates will increase in the country.
Finally
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, with respect to the whole views mentioned above, making a commitment to the
job
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 could have a negative impact on
employees
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, companies and governments.
Therefore
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,
workers
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 should have the right to make decisions regarding their careers.
Submitted by dornasadeghi912 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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