IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In the rapid development, young generation becomes a special group which mean the future of the world.
Besides
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 that, we must mention
about
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apply
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the teachers or
parents
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 as well as the
school
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. Both
home
Change to a plural noun
homes
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use
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uses
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different
Add an article
a different
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Use synonyms
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to develop
children
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 but the same is all made them become good members of society. Different people have
to
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apply
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different
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way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 of teaching, with
parents
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, they teach their daughters and sons since they were little, from the
first
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 word they say to how
interact
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to interact
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 with adults. Because
parents
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 can't understand the
children
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's personalities, can provide for them what they need and take care of them. But it's not always
good
Add an article
a good
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way
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, because with
children
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 have
parents
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 over easy sometimes they can do
things
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 that do not know that bad, and for a long time, I will eat too mischievous
behaviors
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behaviours
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 annoy orders. Growing up,
children
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 have to learn not only from what their
parents
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 teach them but
also
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 about the word. So that they need to go to
school
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. Going to
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school
Add an article
a school
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 like
open
Wrong verb form
opening
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 a new door with different friends come from many places, it can improve
children
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's confidence to interact with more people, give them a chance to expand knowledge and discover new
things
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. With
children
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 who do not have a happy family or have
mental
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a mental
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 illness, friendship can
also
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 help them from negative thoughts. There are some
things
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 that they cannot talk
with
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about with
show examples
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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, so they can share with close friends as a
way
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 to express feelings. And the teacher was professional skills can help them to become better members of
community
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the community
show examples
. But
things
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 are not perfect at all, – do you have some drawbacks that
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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on
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apply
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children
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behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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such
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 as best friends,
do
Wrong verb form
doing
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 bad
things
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 like smoking or drunk and bad
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 with negative thoughts. In conclusion, the
way
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 we teach
children
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 can make them better or worse, but the teaching of both
parents
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 in
school
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
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 their life. But to become good
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of society
also
Linking Words
 according to
children
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 self on how to behave and
things
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 to make the community better and better.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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