IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

A school of thought hold that advanced
communication
Use synonyms
 technology is highly detrimental to social bonds. From my perspective, I totally align with
this
Linking Words
 perception
due to
Linking Words
 the following reasons. The first justification for my argument was the social isolation that modern
communication
Use synonyms
 advancements may bring. Their capabilities to connect with like-minded individuals online have enabled users to indulge in a virtual world where they can share and cherish hobbies and interests together.
Such
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 immersion may offer an alternative way to meaningful
communication
Use synonyms
, unlike the limited connectivity of real life that poses challenges in forming friendships.
This
Linking Words
 shift, with more conveniences, is likely to create discouragement of widening social circles.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study found that frequent use of social media platforms like Facebook can lead to feelings of loneliness, as people replace genuine relationships with superficial online interactions. Equally important is the concern about the erosion of
communication
Use synonyms
 skills. The convenience and brevity of text messaging and social media have led to a decline in the ability to engage in deep, meaningful conversations. People are increasingly accustomed to short, fragmented exchanges, which can reduce their capacity to express themselves clearly and understand others fully.
For example
Linking Words
, the younger generation, who grew up with smartphones, often struggle with face-to-face conversations, as they are more comfortable communicating through text or emojis, which lack the depth and nuance of spoken language. In conclusion, I contend that futuristic high-tech inventions can jeopardise social relationships in light of more online-formed connections and eroding
communication
Use synonyms
 skills.

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grammar
Fix main grammar errors like 'A school of thought holds that' and match subject and verb.
structure
Make a clear plan: intro with your view, 2 body ideas, then a short close.
lexical
Keep words simple and short. Do not use long or hard words.
cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, such as 'first', 'also', 'but', 'for example', to guide the reader.
examples
Give more clear examples that fit the idea and explain how they prove your point.
task response
The writer shows a clear view and uses two ideas to support it.
cohesion
The essay uses linking phrases like 'For instance' and 'Equally important' to connect ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
What to do next:
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