IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #phones #tablets #devices #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a tremendously controversial perspective heating a debate over the evolution of communication technology. Some claim that
this
 trend brings demerits for
people
. While the downside of
this
 advancement is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of its counterpart. Without a shadow of a doubt, the breakthrough of technology is detrimental to society. Contemporarily, with
this
 development,
people
 can connect with other relationships via laptops, cellphones, or tablets
instead
 of meeting face to face with others.
For example
, nowadays dwellers in Viet Nam usually use cordless phones to get in touch with other
people
 because of its convenience.
Thus
 communication skills of them can become increasingly worsening due to the overuse of their personal device to text and talk. While the redeeming features of drawbacks of technology are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of benefits. Nowadays, technological devices play a paramount vital role in life, especially working.
Therefore
,
people
 can complete the deadlines of jobs in their house
instead
 of going to corporations to do
this
 because of the effective features of these devices.
For instance
, in the covid 19 pandemic, hitting the company is impossible for personnel in VietNam, working home online is the best way for them to maintain the progress of their career.
Finally
, these cutting-edge devices bring abundant advantages for the human race. To conclude,
although
this
 trend cause several problems, it can be eclipsed by its positive aspect
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: